Challenges

Challenges

by Bella Zeng

When I came to Chicago, I was seventeen, and everything was new for me. The classrooms were bright. The streets were clean. Everything was pretty good. Now, three years later, I am going to be twenty. I have met a lot of friends from different countries, and now, I have a part time job which gives me more chances to practice my English. When I look back, my life is completely different than before. Since I moved to Chicago, the relationship between my family and me, the way I communicate with people, and the way I think has changed because of this new cultures and my new surroundings.

First, the relationship between my family and me has changed, and I found it is a very difficult challenge for me. When we were in China, I did not need to worry about anything because my parents would take care of me. My job was to study and do well at school. Before, my parents pointed out things for me, but now I am pointing at my parents to do certain things. I am the only person who knows English in my family, and my parents think I am strong enough to take care of them. For example, we went to zoo last week, and in order to get ready. During this time, I had to look at the map and tell my parents what we were going to do even though I did not really understand it myself. When I just came here, I had a hard time to exchange to my parent’s job of taking care of my family. Every month, I have to pay for the gas bill, phone bill, and electricity bill on time. Sometimes, I need to translate the letter from my brother’s teacher and tell my parents what the teacher says. It is very difficult for a college girl to take care of her parents and her eleven year old brother. The things I need to take care of made my shoulders feel like heavier than before.

In addition, the friends I communicate with are different than before. The friends I met in China were the same age as me, but in America I can meet people from different ages and different backgrounds. For example, last semester, one of my classmates was my grandmother’s age. She treated me like her granddaughter, but in her culture you have to use honorific language when you talk to someone who is older than you. When the first time I said her name without the correct honorific word, she looks at me very angrily. In her culture, if you do not use honorific words when you talk to someone who is older than you, it is very disrespectful. Because of different backgrounds, most of my foreign friends do not understand me. For instance, one of my foreign friends does not understand why I still live with my parents after eighteen years old because in his country people who are over eighteen have to move out from their parent’s house. In China, I never used honorific language when I talked to people, and most people would like to live with their parents after eighteen or over after getting married even though they have children. It is hard to communicate with the people from different countries and different backgrounds because there are so many things I do not know about other cultures.

Finally, the way I think has changed completely. When I was in China, my parents protected me very well. I depended on my parents, so I did not need to worry about money. In China, we lived with my grandparents, and I saw how my grandparents spoiled my father just like a kid. That is why I believed my parents would take care of me even though I am grow up. Now, I am not hoping my parents will take care of me. My parents work vey hard just for a little money. They are getting older and older, and they want save more money to buy a house for their retirement. I am not a girl who always stands behind her parents anymore, so I have a plan to transfer to a four year college and I will not let my parents pay for my college. I hope I can bring some good benefit to my family one day soon.

The rules in your family may change, you may use different ways to communicate with people or you may become riper because things are going to change when you move to one new place. Sometimes, I feel like I am just a passenger in this country. I may go back to my home country China later.